#26 – Open Communication

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This episode contains discussion of mental health and ace phobia. This episode's transcript link is in the description below. Listener discretion is advised.

So, what'd you think?

I liked it a lot, actually.

I hoped you would. The comedy seemed like your thing.

It was funny. I liked the rapport between the main three. They had good chemistry. I hope they had fun filming it.

Ah, shoot. Their dynamic is the best part of the movie. I really think it should have ended with him being Polly, though.

What do you mean?

I just think that Nolan and John's whole banter back and forth could have led to a good enemies to lovers kind of thing. And then John's relationship with Bishop. If that's canon, then I think the rivalry sort of relationship could also totally work. Hey, they're all driven by similar things, and they have shared interest, so that's always a plus.

So, like, all of them dating each other? That what you mean?

Yeah. I think they make a cute polycule. A thruffle, if you will.

Have you ever been in a polycule?

Sorta. It kind of happened by accident and entirely online, which was extra hard considering the spotted connection on the farm. None of us really knew what we were doing, and none of us really knew what we wanted out of relationship, so the whole thing ended up kind of crashing and burning real bad. I learned a lot about myself, though, and what to avoid in the future, so I think it was worth it in the end.

Did you like having multiple partners? I can see the appeal, but I think it also sounds kind of exhausting.

His moments are good. The times together felt real nice, at least early on. But that didn't really last. You know what they say about red flags and rose tinted glasses and all that. I would like to try it again someday with folks who are more aware of themselves and what they want. If that was on the table, you'd.

Like to try again?

Maybe someday again? Only if it was on the table, as if it was what my partner wanted, hypothetically.

I don't think I'd mind.

What?

It would take time to adjust, but I think it could be nice. I struggle with making friends and meeting people, so, like, I don't know. I'd probably want to talk it out first.

Oh, gosh, yeah, of course. Nah, we wouldn't go changing anything without talking about it first. Promise.

Okay.

That's all I really ask.

What's up? You don't got to do this if you don't want to.

I only say it if no, it's not that I really don't mind. It's just do I make you happy? Like, with what we have going on right now? Are we okay?

Course. Oh, buttercup. This ain't about you making me happy. I love you. That ain't changing. Promise.

Sorry. I've been feeling a little worried lately. So when the idea of you dating others came up, I'm genuinely fine with it. I guess I got scared it meant something about us.

Worried about what?

I had a talk with my therapist, Linda, recently. She asked me about us and what we are, what's our relationship. She brought up the a romantic stuff and asked if you knew. Which I told her yes because we've talked about it. Right. So she asked what made our relationship any different than like a friendship?

And why is that any of her business?

Because she's my therapist.

Yeah, but unless you and I's relationship is something that you're working on with her, I don't see why she's pressing.

It just kind of came up. She just wants to understand. I think that's her job, to try and understand. But it just made me think, got me worrying. I just want to make sure that we're okay. I'm okay with you having other partners as long as you and I are okay, you know?

Beer? May I hold your hand? You make me happy. We make me happy. I like what we have as long as we're both happy. I like being your boyfriend. And having you as my partner is such a treat. I like spending time with you. I like our little jokes. I love our cuddles. I love kissing you. I love hugging you. And I also like when we're just sitting together. I like seeing you smile. I love when you go on about the movies you and Holly watched or whatever show you started. I love when you tell me about the birds in your yard. I love when you listen to me tell you about my classes and when you try to help me with my homework and practicing cooking new dishes. How you hang up my art and how you buy me supplies so I don't have to go keep buying more after working all day. I love when we sit together in silence and do our things as partners. Boyfriends? Depending on how we're feeling today.

I like it. Boyfriends? I've told you I haven't had a boyfriend before, right?

Which surprised me. I always imagine you'd be such a catch in college.

Don't you go buttering me up. Nah, I haven't ever dated that I can recall anyways.

Mind elaborating darlin.

My memory is spotty for most of my life up till like moving here. That's a big thing. My therapists and I are working on helping me remember stuff. I don't have memories of previous friendships or relationships or anything. I have ideas about a family of sorts, I guess. I'm not sure. Again, working through it. But I meant it when I said that all of this was brand new to me.

While that explains a lot, that's still quite a bit to take in, which is not bad. Just damn. Is there anything I can do?

I have no idea. You hope so much as it is. I don't think I could ask anything else of you. And we're talking about your stuff right now.

Ain't this kind of what we do, though? Volley our stuff back and forth till it's kind of out of our systems?

True. So you're polyamorous, I've got amnesia stuff going on. I think we can handle all that.

Yeah, I think so. Yeah? That's what you want to have us focus on first?

Your stuff? I think we could at least discuss boundaries if you want to go that far. I don't have much to say on the amnesia front right now.

All right, well, first, I don't need anything changing anytime soon. Okay, that helps.

We've got time to figure stuff out.

Sure do. No rushing on anything. Second, this is a two way street kind of thing. We both got to be down for something for us to do it, especially if it involves us, right?

Right. Hey, can I pick the next movie? I'd like to kind of just sit with everything that's been said for a bit, if that's okay.

I think that sounds great. How about I get dinner going and you get the movie picked out? Would you be able to help me cook, or would you rather sit and rest?

As long as I'm given clear instructions, I can help cook.

Can do. How about some sloppy joe's and coleslaw?

And maybe those cinnamon apples you made last week?

I've got plenty of apples.

And I've got that whole spice rack for you in the cupboard.

Babe, you don't gotta convince me. If you're helping cook, I'm happy to make a little more food. Now let's get dinner cooked before we settle in for another movie. What are you thinking?

I caught a movie last night that I'd like to watch again. You ever seen the Birdcage?

Not in years. Let's do it.

All right, well, what should I get on first, chef?

This episode of Jar of Rebuke was written by Casper Oliver. Assistant writers were Jenny O'sullin and Mish Ward. Voices were provided by in order of appearance. Nassa Are, Vin Vox, Casper, Oliver, Me.

Audio is edited by Jason LaRock.

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